Mama Tata, as we call her; Inse Tata for her sisters; Some people call her Isang. But, I have never known or received an answer as to why she was called as such.

Melizza Alcantara-Varquez Manlunas is her real name. Melizza, according to my late grandmother, means honey. I later learned that it means honeybee. Indeed, she may be a bee to some people she met in her lifetime, and her sting may really hurt much. I have heard stories of how brave my mother was. I can say myself, yes, she was even braver than you could have thought.

I never grew up with my mother. That is because she made a brave decision some 39 years ago to leave me with my grandparents. Many may think of it as abandonment; for once, I also thought of it as such. I confronted her about this issue a few years back. She rhetorically answered back: "Abi diay nimo nga sayon-sayon ra sa akoa ang pagbilin nimo? [Do you think it was easy for me to give you up?]" She told me that it was not easy for her to decide on that, but she braved it all.

I am a father now. At one time, Bonnie and I were also confronted with that issue with our kids. But, I was firm in what I believe: in my family, none of my kids should be left out. I told my wife that I know too well the pain of being left out. When I left my kids for work outside the country, I learned more about how my mother must have felt. I now know the pain of being far from my kids.

But going back to my Mama Tata's decision and looking back at what we have become, I could say, I would never get to where I have been and to what I am now if she was not brave enough some 39 years ago. My mom is not as sweet as sugar, but her love is indeed as sweet as honey.

My mom’s life is full of struggle even in her last days. I know it from the wrinkles on her face. Now she rests in peace. My conversations with my mom were not always devoid of tensions. My mom does not want to show that she is weak. So, what I will be saying next was really difficult to say in front of her:

Ma, I know in some of our heart-to-heart talks I have hurt you. For the hurts I have caused you, I am very sorry. I may not have said this to you face-to-face for fear of displeasing you more, but let me say this now: For leaving me behind, I have forgiven you. For choosing to keep me and give birth to me in spite of your situation at that time, Thank you. I may not have told you this often than I should have: Ma, I love you. Happy Mother’s Day Mama Tata.